


As It Seems

by w00t4ewan



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, F/M, Feel-good, Fluff, Friendship, Jemily mentions, Platonic Romance, Tumblr Prompt, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-15 01:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3433334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/w00t4ewan/pseuds/w00t4ewan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just when JJ feels like she has no where else to turn her knight in shining armor shows up to help her through the pain. Much to her surprise it's not the person she was expecting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jennifer Jareau sat in her car sobbing into the steering wheel. Her engine hummed softly as unnoticed music flooded the space. It was not even 9:00am and she was already on her second panic attack of the morning. Her therapist had warned her what PTSD could entail but she had naively thought she would be able to handle the aftermath of her abduction without flinching. She was, after all, SSA Jennifer Jareau of the exclusive behavioral analysis unit. She had a position that agents worked their whole lives to have and she wasn’t going to let her mental weakness get in the way of doing her job.

She took slow even breaths, took her anti-anxiety medication and tried to focus on the radio. Music always helped calm her in times of chaos, it soothed her soul on an existential level. She wiped her eyes, frowning at the fact her make up had become a lost cause at this point. She didn’t care about her appearance anymore, it was hard enough just getting out of bed in the morning. Doing her hair and makeup was torture but she kept up appearances to appease the team. She always appeared so well put together while on the inside she was simply falling to pieces.

She hadn’t slept in over a week and despite her best efforts the bags under her eyes stood out against her pale skin. Tear stained cheeks matched the redness of her eyes and simply added insult to injury. She shook her head as she looked at her appearance in the mirror, who was she trying to fool?

Hotch had offered her time off after the ordeal but she had refused with her famous last words, “I’m fine.” There had never been two more venomous words. She was far from fine or even okay. She was broken. She was simply torn, scared and alone struggling to keep her head above water. No matter how much she fought it seemed like the world was slowly collapsing in on her and it had become near impossible to avoid suffocating in the void.

After some time she finally felt her heart beat even and was able to breathe deeply. She reapplied her eye make-up, brushed through her hair with shaky hands and collected her thoughts. _Suck it up, Jareau. You’ve got this._ She plastered on her fake smile and made her way into the building.

"Hold the door!" Spencer called out as he just made the elevator in time. JJ forced a gentle nod in his direction from the corner of the packed elevator. He shuffled through the other agents and came to stand next to her, briefcase in one hand, coffee tray in the other. "Here, I got you a latte."

"Thanks, Spence, you didn’t have to get me coffee," JJ smiled as she took the cup from the tray. Last thing she needed was to mix caffeine with her medication, but she was exhausted and decided to take the chance if she was to have any hope of making it through the day in one piece. The elevator chimed announcing its arrival at the BAU. JJ and Reid made their ways to their desks in the bullpen, greeting the rest of the team as the settled in.

"Late night, Jareau?" Derek quipped through twinkling eyes.

It was just a nice way of saying ‘you look like shit’. Why do people always make a point of telling you that you look tired? As if JJ didn’t already know she was a disheveled mess, why must people go and point out the obvious? JJ shrugged off the comment and situated her desk.

Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of the bottom of her purse. She looked down at the screen and paused momentarily as she read the message.

**_hey you. I had a dream about you last night. I hope you’re doing okay._ **

Her stomach filled with butterflies as her thumb hovered over the reply button. She hadn’t spoken to Emily since that night. The night Emily had dropped everything and flown 3700 miles to rescue JJ from Askari. The night JJ had used her distress code, specifically meant for Emily to receive. The night Emily got to her in the knick of time and saved her life. The night their hugs lingered a little too long and their whispers were a little too low. The night JJ cried herself to sleep for the first time, not from shock or the fear of everything she had gone through, but from agony of knowing she had let another chance to tell Emily her true feelings slip by. Another buzz made JJ jump.

**_I miss you._ **

JJ stared at the screen deciding how to reply. She wanted to so desperately for Emily to be there, now more than ever. She missed her friend. She missed Emily always being able to make her feel better even when the world seemed to be collapsing around her. Emily always knew just what to say or do to make JJ feel like she wasn’t so alone. She had always taken Emily’s friendship for granted until Emily moved to London. They kept in touch for a while but Emily was busy with her new job and JJ was getting used to married life and they just sort of drifted apart, the way friends do sometimes. But now JJ needed Emily more than ever and had no idea how to rekindle their friendship.

**_I’m fine_** , JJ lied. She knew if she were communicating by any other means than text the lie would never go unnoticed but she was grateful to be able to hide her true heartache in three simple words. She felt her pulse quicken as her heart began to beat against her rib cage, threatening another attack. She took a slow deep breath and counted backwards from twenty, trying to avoid the oncoming storm. _Shit! Not now. Not in the middle of the bullpen. Calm down. Pull it together._

Despite her best efforts she felt tears forcing their ways to her eyes. She abruptly shot up from her desk and excused herself to the bathroom, ignoring the worried look Spencer shot her direction. Once in the bathroom she locked the door behind her and ran the water to stifle the sounds of her cries. She pressed her back against the wall and sank to a heap on the floor, still clutching her phone.

**_You don’t have to lie to me Jennifer._ **

_FUCK!_ JJ thought as she read the text. She knew she was in trouble when Emily used her full name. She wanted desperately to break down and tell Emily everything. She was so tired of holding everything back and pretending to be okay when she was so far from it but Emily was a world away running an entire branch of Interpol. She didn’t have time to hear JJ’s sob story. No, JJ had always been the strong silent type and she didn’t have any immediate plans to have a complete and total melt down.

A knock on the door startled her out of her own thoughts. She had been crying in a mess on the floor for a good ten minutes, she was sure the team would be questioning her whereabouts soon. Time to man up and put on that good old fashioned Pennsylvania charm.

"Just a moment," she answered to the impatient knocker. She muttered under her breath as she shut off the faucet and tried to save what little make up she still had on. She really needed to invest in waterproof mascara. She took a deep breath and grabbed her phone, typing at the keyboard half halfheartedly.

**_Not lying, I’m really fine. How’s London?_ **

Another deep breath and another knock on the door. She looked over at the door slightly annoyed this time and called out, “I said just a moment!" People are so impatient sometimes! She did another once over and frowned at her appearance. She couldn't do much about it now. She would just have to pull herself together the best she could and go about her day like nothing was wrong, no different than all the other days before.

Yet another knock at the door, this one a little more forceful. JJ finally lost her temper at the same time her phone buzzed in her hand. She grunted in frustration and yelled out, “WHAT?” as she finally swung the door opened angrily.

"It’s just that, you don’t look _fine_ ," Emily admitted as she stood in front of the door. "Hey Jayje." 

JJ stood frozen in her tracks. She blinked a few times and wiped at her eyes. It would be just her luck that she had begun to hallucinate with her panic attacks but something told her this was reality. Emily Prenitss was standing at the bathroom door, wearing a shit eating grin and worried eyes. Emily leaned in for a hug that lingered just a little too long as so many words were passed through their silence. Emily had been tipped off to JJ's PTSD when Reid had called her late one night requesting information on Tivon Askari, the man responsible for JJ's abduction. Emily knew all too well the kind of physical and emotional scars JJ would have to face after her ordeal and she had waited patiently for JJ to come to her for advice when things became rough. Much to her surprise, JJ had never reached out. Emily had called to check up on her after Reid tipped her off but even then, JJ had denied she was going through anything worse than a few nightmares. 

Emily knew better. It had been nearly 4 years since Ian Doyle had abducted and branded her and she still had emotion trauma from the incident. She knew JJ was holding back but she wasn't quite sure why. JJ had previously disclosed she had miscarried in Afghanistan after her convoy had been bombed and Emily knew that wouldn't be something she would get over so quickly. Nevertheless, Emily knew better than to pry and had left well alone. She hoped this trip would give the two women the much needed time to catch up and give JJ an outlet to finally come clean about what she was going through. 

” _How_?" JJ mouthed silently. Emily reached up and took her face in her rough hands and stroked JJ’s tear stained cheeks. She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind JJ’s ear and smiled.

"I was worried about you," she admitted. She laced her fingers in JJ’s and squeezed gently. JJ felt the flood gates burst as she finally broke down. Tears streamed freely like a typhoon as she collapsed onto Emily’s shoulder. Emily wrapped her arms around the smaller agent and whispered small encouragements.

"It’s okay Jen, I’m here now. It’s going to be okay," Emily reassured as she pulled JJ in as tightly as she physically could. She let her muscular arms say everything she couldn’t. All of the reassurances in the world held no flame to the safety JJ felt wrapped up in that embrace.

"Can we get out of here?" JJ whimpered between sobs.

"Absolutely, darling. Let me go grab your purse, I’ll just meet you downstairs so you don’t have to go back to the bullpen right now," Emily offered. JJ knew she was trying to be nice but JJ was in no state to be left alone, even if it was only momentarily. She decided to accompany Emily back to the bullpen so she could gather her things and let Hotch know she was going home for the day. She didn’t even muster the strength to put on a brave face for the team, somehow with Emily by her side it seemed okay for them to see the truth.

To her relief the team was already in the conference room by the time the two women reappeared. Emily left JJ at her desk and offered to go talk to Hotch to explain the situation. Truth was, Hotch had been the one to call Emily in the first place. Emily hadn’t minded, there was no one else more important to her than JJ. Although she had joked that Hotch could call with good news every once in while. She made her way to the conference room and pulled Hotch to the hallway.

"The team is excited to see you," Hotch beamed. "But obviously there are pressing matters to attend to. How is she doing?"

"As you expected, it’s not good," Emily reported, peering over her shoulder at the fragile shell of her best friend.

"Okay, well whatever she needs. Whatever you need. Just let me know. Thanks for coming," Hotch offered a friendly hand shake and said no more before returning to the team.  
Emily stopped by JJ’s desk and picked up a framed picture of Henry and Will. “He looks so much like you,” Emily grinned.

"He looks like a hippy with that hair but he refuses to let us cut it. I already told Will we’re cutting it before he starts kindergarten in the fall," JJ smiled and it was the first genuine spark of happiness Emily had seen.

"I’ve already got two cartons of mint chocolate chip ice cream in my hotel room. We can order room service, watch a movie, or just eat ice cream with no one to judge us. It’s whatever you need," Emily smiled at the thought of spending the entire afternoon cuddled up eating ice cream in silence.

"You know me so well," JJ laughed as they headed to the elevator.


	2. Chapter 2

Back at the hotel Emily offered JJ some sweatpants to change into so she could be rightly comfortable while they binged of ice cream and Cheetos (which they had picked up on the way). Once changed, JJ joined Emily on the bed with one of the cartons of ice cream.

"How long are you in town?" JJ finally asked, only half interested in the answer. If it were up to her Emily would be back for good but she knew she couldn’t place that sort of responsibility on the brunette. Emily had a wonderful new job in London, it wasn’t fair for JJ to keep having to depend on her to fly home and make things better. JJ felt guilty for the first time that afternoon.

"I’m here for as long as you need me. I just wish you had called me, Jayje," Emily confessed between mouths full of mint chocolate chip.

"I didn’t know what to say," JJ admitted shyly. Ever since her ordeal the phone had suddenly weighed a thousand pounds. She had wanted to call Emily so badly but had come down with a severe case of guilt and shame. She knew that calling Emily would make everything real, it would mean finally admitting she wasn’t actually fine and to admit anything was wrong was far scarier than simply living everyday in the lie. "I just can’t believe you’re here. Again."

"Jennifer anytime you need me, I’m here. I always have been. It may take me considerably longer to get here now but I’m always going to come for you," Emily sighed knowing she was getting her point across but her words weren’t saying what she really meant. She meant that she would drop everything no matter where she was if JJ called. She had always been protective of her team members but more so over JJ. She had always felt like JJ still had a sort of innocence that had long since been stripped from the rest of the team and she wanted so desperately to keep that spark alive in the younger agent. Unfortunately, she had witnessed it get torn from JJ after the ordeal with Askari. JJ had left that warehouse as a different person and Emily knew from experience there was no going back. You can cover up the cracks but your foundation is never quite the same after something that horrific.

Emily wanted JJ to open up to her about how she was feeling but knew better than to pry. Instead she simply wrapped her arm around JJ’s shoulder and pulled her close. JJ rested her head on Emily’s shoulder and let herself relax for the first time that day. Her blonde hair fell over her face but Emily knew she was crying. She planted a chase kiss on the top of JJ’s hair and hummed softly.

” _Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise._ ” Emily hummed as she pulled JJ’s hair out of her eyes and met those baby blues with matched brokenness. Emily knew all too well what it was like to face your demons head on and come out alive but torn. She held JJ in silence as JJ cried into her shoulder unabashedly.

JJ looked up at her with eyes that were unfamiliar. Where sparkling sapphires once beamed now gazed ice cold blues that were so incredibly shielded. Emily knew that look too well, it stared back at her from the mirror everyday. It broke her heart to see darkness in those perfect blue eyes. JJ obviously felt the same way about Emily's gaze because tears began to well up at the corners of her eyes. 

"Now, what's going on Jen?" Emily asked as she wrapped her arms around the smaller woman's shoulders. That simple gesture was enough to break the levy as tears came streaming down JJ's cheeks. She shook from the force of sobs and Emily pulled her close placing a chaste kiss to the top of her head. 

"I just cannot get past it, Em. He's everywhere I turn. I have night terrors that scare Will half to death. He's about ready to walk out at this point because I can't help but push him away. Henry just keeps asking me why I'm crying and I have to go to work every day and pretend like nothing bothers me. I just don't think I can keep up like this much longer," JJ sobbed into Emily's shoulder. Emily tightened her grip and reassured the younger woman. 

"Jayje, it's going to take time. Shit, I still have nightmares and it's been four years. You're always going to have the physical scars but you don't have to live with the emotional ones. Don't let him win, he's dead and you're not. Remember what you told me on the way to Paris? Be the blackbird, Jay. I know you can be, you're the strongest woman I know. I love you. And _talk_ to Will. He can't help you unless you're honest with him. I spent too many years hiding behind castle walls and moats, I've spent my whole life so focused on compartmentalizing that I've let good things pass me by. Don't let that happen to you, Will is a good man. He loves you, he loves Henry. Let him in."

JJ nodded weakly taking in every word of advice Emily offered. She hadn't meant to fall apart so easily but there was a certain comfort that only Emily could offer her. They had never talked about that night, the night Emily rescued her. JJ knew that Emily would come, she had always known Emily would rescue her from any sort of peril she could get into. Just as she once had come back for Emily. There was a loyalty in their love that just could not be replicated. JJ loved her husband but she could never love him as wholly as she loved Emily. They were each other's rock, an anchor to cling to when life seemed lost to the tide. Emily had always been JJ's constant and vice versa. 

"There's something _else_ ," JJ admitted between bites of the melted ice cream in the bottom of the carton. She paused and looked Emily in the eyes before she finally took a deep breath and let out her secret, "I'm pregnant."

"You're what?" 

"Pregnant. Six weeks now. I haven't told anyone else, not even Will," JJ sighed looking down at her stomach. 

" That's amazing! But something tells me to err on the side of caution with the congratulations, you don't seem too happy about this news," Emily wrapped an arm around the blonde and pulled her in close, laying a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "You can talk to me, you know."

"Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. It's a miracle truly but I just can't help but think the timing is all wrong. Will and I aren't really doing so well and the way things have been going at work do not make for a lot of time to worry about trying to raise a new baby. I mean it's crazy, right? I should feel ecstatic to have a second chance but I just don't. I feel so alone. I feel like it's a burden, that's why I haven't told anyone. Emily, I'm not sure I want to keep it," JJ whispered the last sentence. It seemed odd to finally say out loud what she had been tormented with in her heart for weeks. She was taken aback at how easily the words rolled off her tongue. She and Will had dreamed of having a second child for years but the timing was never right, then when JJ had finally gotten pregnant and miscarried it had shook her to the core. Now she was having trouble holding her own head above water she didn't think it would be fair to bring a new life into such a dark and twisted world. 

"That is something only you can decide, Jennifer. But whatever your choice is, you know I'm here for you. If you need someone to go with you to hold your hand, I understand. Trust me," Emily cooed as she smoothed JJ's hair and choked back her own tears.

"It wouldn't make me a terrible person?"

"Jennifer, when I was 15 all I wanted was to be accepted. I would do nearly anything to get the other kids to like me, we moved around so much. I ended up getting pregnant and i had no where to turn. I was lucky enough to have someone who went with me when I got the abortion and I was never able to repay that favor to him. Please know your choice, whatever it is, does not mean you are a bad person. Having a child is the biggest decision any woman can make and you have to be ready to give your entirety to that other person for the rest of your life. The fact that you have managed to raise Henry and keep your marriage with all you've seen, with all you've been through is truly proof of how strong you are. I know I couldn't have done it, shit I still can't. I mean the closest I ever came to settling down was when I nearly bought that house," Emily trailed off lost in thought of what could have been if she had decided to stay in DC instead of taking the job in London. 

"Why didn't you stay?" JJ asked gently, after letting the question eat her inside for the past two years. They had never really discussed why Emily left when she did though both of them had tiptoed their emotions on numerous occasions. The drunken phone calls, the nights of snuggling that felt more than platonic on some level, the numerous years of flirtation. Neither of them had ever been truly honest with their feelings and JJ feared the answer to this question after so many years of longing. 

Emily sighed thinking of how to reply. She was torn between what she wanted to say, which was _"I left because I saw the way you looked at him when he walked into that bank. I left because when that bank blew and I was stuck inside you called for Will. I left because you begged him to ask you and he did and you said yes. I left because that night when I saw you walking down the aisle something inside of me that I hadn't even been aware of died. I left because I watched you dance with him and I watched the world slip away and you looked at me, you looked at me and in that moment I knew I would never be the reason you smiled like that. I knew Henry was the light of your life and Will was the reason for that light, no matter what, he would always be the one you called for after the blast. I left because I wanted you to be happy in ways I don't think I could ever grant you. I left because you deserve the universe and I can't even offer stability. I left for you."_

Instead all she managed was, “You know I love you, don’t you?”  
It was a simple question between friends but between the two women there were many other implications which neither of them had ever actually voiced. There was a certain understanding between them when it came to discussing how they really felt about each other. They had missed their chance years ago but the longing for more was still alive somewhere in the pits of their stomachs, buried deep within their hearts.  
"I love you too, Em," JJ whispered.  
There was a long pause in the conversation as they both rested in the comfortable silence. It was a type love that Will couldn’t offer JJ, nor anyone else could offer to Emily. It was their special brand of heroin. Addictive, serious and a life-long habit. They needn’t define it nor truly speak of it. They both knew it existed and knew exactly where to seek more, that was truly all that mattered. Despite everything else their love existed in its own form and that was all that seemed to matter. It was enough. 

"Tomorrow is actually our anniversary," JJ frowned slightly, taking a sudden interest in her nearly empty ice cream carton.

"Well don't sound so enthused," Emily chuckled. She could see the strain on in JJ's eyes. She knew what the emotional turmoil must be doing on JJ's marriage. Despite her best attempts to hide the dark circles under her eyes, Emily could tell she hadn't been sleeping enough. She was visibly skinny, her nails had been chewed to the cuticles and her usually illustrious blonde locks looked dull and unkempt. Emily decided to take the plunge and address the elephant in the room, "JJ, what's going on with you? I mean, really?"

"Well he's been wanting to go out just the two of us for a while but with work and Henry, it's just so difficult. I know I need to talk to him but I just really haven't had the time and now with the pregnancy, I have just been making excuses. I know I can't put this off forever, he'll catch on soon," JJ admitted as she wiped her eyes.

"Let me watch Henry for you! It's your anniversary, it would be the perfect time to go out!" Emily offered happily. 

"Really? Just like that?" 

"Sure thing! I haven't seen him in so long and I could use a night in with my favorite nephew!" Emily reassured. 

"Okay," JJ smiled, as she hugged Emily gratefully. "Tomorrow at 7 o'clock?"

"I'll be there with bells and whistles on!" Emily smiled.

"In the meantime, can I stay with you tonight? I mean if that's okay?"

"Of course it's okay. You can take the spare bed, we can watch bad movies and order room service or go out," Emily offered.

"Oh, yeah the spare bed, of course," JJ repeated as she looked over suddenly realize the room was a double. She had spent the after noon so closely intertwined in Emily's arms she had never even noticed the other bed which was currently adorned with Emily's suitcase and jacket. JJ snuggled closer into the brunette and whined, "Actually, maybe I can sleep with you?"

Emily chuckled, knowing that was what JJ had meant all along but watching the blonde's reaction was too priceless. She took JJ's chin between her thumb and fingers and tilted it up to meet the blonde's blue eyes. She leaned in and kissed JJ softly on the lips, smiling as she pulled back, "Of course."

"You could have made one hell of a lover, Emily Prentiss," JJ sighed as she remembered to breathe again after the chaste kiss. 

"You have no idea, Jareau. No idea."


	3. Chapter 3

The doorbell rang at exactly 7 o'clock and JJ rolled her eyes at Emily's astute ability to always be right on time. She straighted her dress and placed the final pin in her hair as she made her way downstairs. Will had already let Emily in by the time she made it to the foyer. 

"Emily, so nice to see you again!" he smiled as he offered an awkward side hug. Emily obliged and patted him on the back firmly. 

"Likewise, Detective," she replied. She hadn't meant for it to sound as demeaning as it came out and she regretted her choice of words instantly as a sort of disappointment crossed over Will's face. She looked up and caught a glimpse of JJ for the first time. 

JJ was wearing a knee length black dress with plunging neckline and open back silouhette. Her hair was swept up in an intricate hair style that would have taken Emily hours, but she had an inkling only took JJ minutes. A diamond necklace sparkled across her neck, laying awkwardly over the necklace her sister had given her all those years before. She wore a matching pair of diamond stud earrings and what seemed to be a genuine smile. 

"Jennifer, you look stunning." Emily whispered as she embraced her friend. She pulled her close and whispered, "Just be honest with him, you'll do great."

JJ nodded and smiled at the encouragement, "Will are you about ready?"

"I'm ready when you are, love" Will confirmed as he took JJ's arm and escorted her the rest of the way down the stairs. "Henry, come out here buddy!"

Henry came barreling down the hallway towards the front door. His blonde hair flowed freely as he came to his parents' side, stopping shyly behind JJ's legs. 

"Henry, you remember Aunt Emily. She's going to watch you while we go out for a while, okay?" JJ rubbed his back gently, trying to encourage him from his hiding place. 

"Hey Henry! We're going to have so much fun!" 

"Alright buddy, you be good for Emily. We love you!" Will kissed his son and looked back to Emily, "Thanks again Emily. This is really sweet."

"Oh no, it's no big deal! You two go enjoy your anniversary!" 

JJ mouthed a silent, _Thank You_ as the she tousled Henry's hair and said goodbye. Once his parents had left Henry retreated back to the living room where he was watching a movie with his stuffed dinosaur, Frank. 

"What are you watching?" Emily asked as she cuddled up next to him on the couch. He shrugged and looked up at her with those sparkling blue eyes that used to belong to his mother before her light had turned to darkness after staring too long into the abyss. Those innocent blue eyes that used to capture Emily's attention when she first started at the BAU. The same eyes that knew only goodness in the world. She missed seeing that spark in JJ's eyes but there it was beaming back at her through this fragile young boy. 

Henry dozed off somewhere around the middle of the movie but Emily didn't want to wake him. He had been nearly silent the entire evening and Emily was fairly certain he didn't remember her. It broke her heart to know she had been gone long enough that her memory had already faded. She had been there through JJ's pregnancy and even helped deliver Henry when Will had been caught up at work. She had watched him grow up and now he looked at her like she was a complete stranger. She felt like maybe she had become just that to more than just the kindergarten boy asleep in her lap. She had missed so much over the past few years. Emily looked around the living room at all of the framed pictures adorning the walls of this cozy home, she couldn't help but wish she had somewhere to call home as well. Sure, she lived in London but it would never be home. 

She often laid awake late at night pondering her life choices. What if she had told JJ how she truly felt those many years ago? What if she hadn't taken the job with Interpol, suppose she had bought that house and set roots down in DC instead. Could it have been different? Could it have been she and JJ celebrating an anniversary instead of Will? It didn't matter, she knew she'd never get anywhere on what ifs and should haves. She was grateful for the friendship she shared with JJ and rid her head of any hopes of more. 

Emily heard a car int he driveway and checked her watch, it was nearly midnight. She was happy the couple had fully enjoyed their free time together but she was also getting a bit tired and would be happy to relinquish parental control back to JJ and Will. 

"Henry, your mom and dad are home," Emily whispered into the young boy's ear. Henry stirred and looked out the window, he heard his parents opening the front door and took off again down the hallway. 

"Hey buddy! What are you still doing up?" 

"Sorry, he fell asleep on the couch and I just didn't have the heart to move him," Emily admitted as she rounded the corner. "How was dinner?"

"It was really good," JJ smiled as she squeezed Will's hand. He leaned in and kissed her on the lips as Henry covered his eyes jokingly. 

"Now we need to get you to bed," Will told Henry. "Give Emily a hug and say good night."

To Emily's surprise Henry approached her and took her hand in his, tugging gently. She lowered herself, crouching to her knees to look him in the eyes. He wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her as close as he could.

"Come on buddy, it's time for bed now," Will interrupted. 

"But I want Emily to help me!" Henry pleaded. 

"Do you mind?" JJ asked, knowing Emily was tired.

"For you? I'd do anything!" Emily grinned down at the boy who had spent the whole evening ignoring her as he took her hand and lead her upstairs to his room. 

Once he was tucked safely into bed with Frank the dinosaur Emily kissed his forehead and turned to leave. 

"But you have to sing the song!" 

"What song, sweetie?" Emily asked.

"Blackbird! Momma always sings it to me so I can go to sleep."

"Does she?" Emily asked, choking back tears. How many nights had she spent humming that song to herself to get the nightmares to go away? How many times had her heart lifted at the sound of that song coming from her cell phone indicating a call form JJ? How many times had she stared lovingly at the blackbird tattoo that now covered the brand Doyle had engraved in her chest? It was a constant reminder of she and JJ's relationship and now Henry was asking her to sing that forlorn song to him. "Okay, but I don't sing nearly as well as your mommy."

"Neither does Daddy," Henry admitted.

Emily chuckled as she ran her hand through his long hair and sang, _Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise_

"Emily?" 

"Yes?"

"Thank you," he whispered in her ear as he threw his arms around her neck again.

She looked at him with a perplexed look, "What for sweetie?"

He pulled back enough to look her square in the eyes with those haunting blues, "Momma says angels look after her and daddy. The angels keep them safe at work and bring them back to me every night."

Henry shook the blonde hair out of his eyes and smiled, "I think you're an angel. Because momma said you brought her back to me when the bad guy hurt her!"

Emily bit her lip and smiled, tears trickling down her face. She noticed a shadow on the floor and knew they had company lurking in the doorway, she didn't need to turn to see who it was. She had always had the sixth sense to know when JJ was near. She simply kissed Henry's forehead and whispered a promise to them both, " _Always_ "


End file.
